Tag Archives: family

Family is Poisonous

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What you should do if you come from a family that never has anything supportive to say, doesn’t show you love, doesn’t value you, doesn’t appreciate you and is constantly trying to put you down and sabotage your success.

Breaking up with a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend is one thing and there’s a lot of advice out there for doing it, but what about a family break-up?

 Most of us are not in a position to “just leave” nor do we feel we want to, or that it’s the right thing to do. So what do we do when a toxic family member (or members) is literally ruining our lives? How do we deal with the feeling of obligation, guilt, confusion and heartache?

It is important to note that not everyone’s family is there for them to lean on, to call on or to go home to. Not every family is built on the premise of interconnectedness, support and stability. Sometimes family simply means that you share a bloodline. That’s all. Some families build you up and some suck your energy dry.

In many respects, the way we were treated by our family ends up being the same treatment we offer the world.

Often times the signal and energy we put out into the world is similar to or exactly what we have experienced by others. And for most of us, this influential force has been our family. Think about it. Think about just how much the interaction, or lack there of, from our family, sets the tone for the quality of energy we give off during our lifetime.

What are the signs indicating that you could use a break or change?

-Your own health and mental well-being is damaged
-You feel emotionally, physically and/or spiritually injured
-The relationships with your immediate family/spouse/partner is suffering
-There is violence, physical and/or emotional abuse
-There is substance abuse
-There are constant struggles for power
-There is unnecessary distrust and disrespect
MDC says…… ADIOS !! 

The Dog Child

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Welcome the dog child. Up to 81% of Americans view their pets as family members, and think about their dogs as much as their children. 71% have a photo of their dog in their wallet or phone that they show other people.

There are obvious benefits to having dogs rather than children. Your dog will never slam a door in your face or tell you they hate you. They can be potty trained in eight weeks. They don’t need clothes, a car, or a college education.

In recent years, several discoveries about dogs make kids even less unique. It turns out that dogs are startlingly similar to human infants in several key areas, one of which is in the social domain.

At around nine months, human infants go through a social revolution. They begin to understand what adults are trying to communicate when they point and begin pointing out things to other people. By paying attention to the reactions and gestures of other people, as well as to what other people are paying attention to, infants are beginning to read other people’s intentions. This ability provides a foundation for all forms of culture and communication.

Every dog owner has helped a dog find a lost ball or stick by pointing in the right direction. It’s easy to take for granted the way dogs effortlessly interpret this simple gesture, but this ability is remarkable. Not only do dogs understand the meaning behind the point in a similar way to human infants, they are using the social information of a completely different species.

Soon after infants start reading gestures, they start to learn their first words. Anyone with children knows that toddlers learn words at an astonishing speed, and frequently use words that no one has “taught” them. This is because children learn by using inferences. For example, if you show an infant a red block and a green block, then say “Please give me the chromium block, not the red block,” most infants will give you the green block, despite not knowing that chromium is a shade of green. They inferred the name of the object.

A dog called Rico, and several other Border collies, can do the same thing. When Julianne Kaminski, from the University of Portsmouth, placed a new toy Rico had never seen before in a different room with seven of his toys that he knew by name. Then she asked Rico to fetch a toy using a new word he had never heard before, like ‘Sigfried’. Rico correctly fetched the new toy. One particularly verbose Border collie called Chaser learned over a thousand words this way.

Everyone knows that dogs are loyal, but recent research suggests that this devotion might go much deeper, even rivaling the attachment between children and their mothers.

Joszef Topal and colleagues from Lorand Eotvos University, Hungary used a test called “A Strange Situation” to evaluate the attachment of dogs and their owners. Usually, this test is used by psychologists to evaluate the relationship between a mother and her child. It is a kind of miniseries with several episodes where a mother and her child between the age of six months and two years old arrive at a playroom. A stranger enters and the mother leaves while the stranger plays with the child. Then the mother returns. The child is left completely alone, then the mother and stranger return together.

Children react in various ways, but securely attached infants use their mother as a base to explore the playroom. When their mother returns after a short absence, these children happily run to their mother and greet her with hugs and kisses.

Topal used the same test with owners and their dogs. He found that dogs were similar to children in that they explored and played more when their owners were in the room. Just as children showed searching behavior when their mothers left, dogs stood at the door when their owners left the room.

Upon the owners’ return, the dogs were more like the securely attached infants, seeking physical contact almost immediately with contented behavior like tail wagging. Topal concluded that the attachment of dogs to their owners is similar to the attachment of infants to their mothers.

In summary, dogs can read your gestures but they’ll never make rude gestures of their own. They can learn words like children but they can’t talk back. And they are as attached to you as a child, but are much, much cheaper. It isn’t hard to see which dependent is the logical choice.

Source: wsj

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A SOLDIERS TRUST

 

MDC says, On this past quiet FOURTH OF JULY, feeling melancholy, enduring the heat and humidity indoors with the air conditioning, I see America at a peaceful moment.

These past ten years have seen our hero Soldiers fight far away and return as empty carcasses of spirit, needing the healing, only partners, family, friends, and community provide.

No soldier ever goes out alone.  Each has their connections to the people in their lives anchoring any returning reality.

A Soldiers duty is not to political party.  Their duty is to Country and hard fought values of Independence, Liberty, and the Four Freedoms.

Separating a Soldiers duty and mission from the politics that sent them into battle, is necessary.  Civilians enjoying their protection, expertise, and skill sets, foment over political talking heads, deciding the fate of men and Country.

At home politicians beefed up unfunded security in the name of terrorism, real or imagined, which obliterated the freedoms our Soldiers fight for.

Yes, many a citizen has taken the pill of fear given out by TVLAND on a daily basis.  American History has been quickly forgotten.  Yet today we should indelibly remember that what we Americans have is the “FREEDOM FROM FEAR”, and our brother and sister Soldiers are why.

FAMILY INSURANCE RISING

MDC says, the cost of health care for a typical family of four with insurance will exceed $20,000 for the first time in 2012.

The Milliman Medical Index, a figure the firm has released annually since 2005, estimates the total cost of care for a family of four enrolled in an employer-sponsored PPO plan. For 2012, that figure hit $20,728. The total includes $12,144 in employer-covered insurance costs and $8,584 paid by the family itself: $5,114 in insurance premiums paid by the employee whose family is under the plan, and $3,470 in out-of-pocket expenses.

MDC says, the problem remains that health care spending has outpaced general inflation, which has been essentially flat.